I feel terrible. Like really fucking shitty. Like I’ve never been more depressed in my life. To the point where “depressed” seems like an understatement. I don’t know if it’s from what I ate today or if it’s just a culmination of all the shit that I’ve had to deal with since August. All I know is that the only reason I’m not taking those pills in the bottom of my sock drawer is because I have family visiting and I don’t want my four year old baby cousin to have to deal with me dying while he’s visiting. I know that I need help. Serious help. Like I probably need to be in a treatment center right now. But I just don’t care enough to tell my parents. I just want to curl up into a ball and shut out the world. I just want someone to care. Anyone. But no one does. Or if they do they don’t show it properly. They try to help sometimes but it just ends up making me feel even worse. Honestly, I just want him to come and make it better, he’s the only one who’s ever been able to, but he won’t. He refuses. So the one person who was keeping sane is gone and…I don’t know. Whatever. I don’t know why I’m venting here. It’s not going to do anything and it’s not like anyone’s reading this anyway so. I just want it to end.

(Source: greenteaandstrawberries)